His Needs, Her Needs...

No, I'm not discussing the relationship self help book.... although I own it and it's a good one.
I'm just speaking generally here.

How in the heck do you all balance out your needs, with your husbands needs, with your kids needs?!

This feels like a constant struggle in my life.

I have to start out with the fact that I am very proud of Jeff...he has been really steadfast on this weight loss thing!  I mean, he is so all or nothing... and when he puts his mind to something... he does it.
He's at the gym when he's not at work.  And it's showing.
I'm impressed by his ability to watch me eat french fries and not even have one!

BUT here's the thing... if history is an indicator... he'll do this til' he reaches his goal weight and then he'll slack off and eventually give way to the temptation of yummy food again... you can't live your whole life with out ever enjoying good (bad) food again!
And usually he let's the lifestyle of making healthier choices and working out go because he doesn't have BALANCE!

YA, I want to lose weight... but I love food just as much so once I reach my goal weight, (and obviously before then too)  I'll just be moderating and working out so that I CAN eat the stuff I want... in moderation... once in a while.

Anyhow, I've been joking with him that he's going to need to run this race for me, because he's getting a lot more gym time!

Granted, I don't work out in a gym so I am dependent on weather to get my work outs in, but I also have 3 kids six years old and under that are dependent on me constantly... so when they're home sick, so am I.   And at the very least I usually have at least one in tow... and honestly, I'm not loving running with a stroller.  It just doesn't have the freedom component... one of the things I love most about running.

I feel like there's a complete imbalance when it comes to the sexes.
I would be willing to bet that whether a woman works outside of the home or not the majority, if not all of the responsibility of the home and children, falls on the woman!?

So maybe it's not that men just lose weight easier than women... maybe men just have it easier period.
If I had the freedom to leave and do whatever I needed to do whenever I wanted to do it... things might be different!?

Just say'n....

and on that note... he is finally off today, so I am going to

Fast... and far... and I may not come back... til' tomorrow!  :) 

OH wait, but first I need to get all my kids ready for school, make sure lunches and snacks are eaten/packed and make sure there is nothing else left undone...  you feel'n me ladies?!

Curbing the Cravings...

The weather has been chilly... after being in the high 70's and low 80's.. to the high 40's low 50's sent this house right back into sickness!  Ugh!  

My kids missed 5 days of school, which made me want to pull my hair out... and quickly made me panic and wonder how in the world I might survive the summer!?!  

WHICH reminded me that we are supposed to be taking a trip out west to Vegas and Cali, to see our families in June and celebrate a wedding in the family an just catch up because it's been 2 years too long since we have!  

So I haven't slept in 2 days!  I've been combing the internet non stop and on the phone trying to figure out what our schedule will look like and what everyone in our families schedules will be like... and I'm still in the middle of all this planning!  Realizing that time has gone by way too quick and we are literally planning this vacation last minute here!  When will I learn!?

So I was doing real good with the sickness and all... chicken soup, vitamix smoothies... until, this evening.  My son asked me for a happy meal and well, it seemed like a good opportunity to negotiate getting my family room picked up in exchange... all the while escaping chicken soup for a 3rd time and cooking dinner!  Win, win, win for me! :)

Where I lose is when I caved and ate those french fries and a fried chicken sandwich!  

And might I add that I haven't run in 2 days!  Eeeek!  Seriously, Mel?!  

Tomorrow... your butt is run'n!  

Unless I catch the kids cold and I'm flatlined ... (knock on wood).

Hey, remember one of my first posts when I was discussing cravings and how when we crave something I felt it was that we actually need something in it or even something else entirely?!  And I was wondering if anything has ever been proven on it.... well, I'm not sure if this is 'proven' I found this on Pinterest... but thought it was interesting! 

I notice french fries and fried chicken sandwiches aren't on the list!?  Hmmmmm....  ;)

It's Better With A Friend Like You!

Today, Kris and I hit the trails together!  This is us stretching... HA!  :)
(I didn't shave so don't look too close)  She is training for a 5k Dirty Girl Mud Run coming up here... and she's got this fun program on her phone where the (unnamed lady) yells at us "Walk" or "Run"... funny how she always had us running on the inclines!

It was nice to get out of the house, breathe some fresh air and catch up with my girl!
We did a little retail therapy after that... followed by some dinner... and what do you know!?
The Funky mood is Gone!

It's amazing how much easier and even fun it was to run with a buddy!
I hope we can do this more often!

I was back to the grind today with my health food smoothies!  I did however enjoy a grilled avocado, tomato and cheese sandwich!  It was delicious and I highly recommend it! ;)

In A Funk...

You ever have one of those days... or even a few of those days... where you just feel funky!?

No real reason why... you just don't feel much motivation or desire to do anything?  

Not happy, not sad... not anything really... just... bleh!

Well, I have been feeling funky!  

I lost 2 more pounds... and even that barely mustered any excitement.  

I ate pizza tonight with the kids, and yesterday I enjoyed some artery clogging french fries that I washed down with a soda!  It's been so long since I've had a soda, I hiccuped through it and couldn't finish it because it tasted too sweet!  Imagine that!  I used to drink several a day!

I watched like 3 different movies, read, watched some crappy reality TV like 16 and Pregnant... believe it or not shows like that actually make me feel better!  It's like... man, I thought Motherhood was rough and I'm 32... at least I'm not trying to raise kids in my parents house, with zero income and a baby's daddy that just barely acquired facial hair... while I struggle to get a GED!  

I mean, things could always be worse, right?! 

So anyhoo... this blog is a confession of sorts.  

I have been a lazy... falling hard off her own bandwagon, bum!  

I have been feeling bad about this... but then I read a quote that said 

"Time wasted... if enjoyed, was not wasted" and it actually made me feel a lot more justified in my actions.  I mean really, sometimes we just need to be.  

"We're human beings not human doings."  Right!?

But tomorrow... it's back on the band wagon!  

I'll be a Vega, kale, flax seed smoothie sucking... running, circuiting... fool!  :)  

Til' then, I'll be in my bed if you need me... watching Smash!  

(Love me some McPhee y'all!)  ;)

*** Edited to add that while watching Smash... what do they roll onto the set for their high maintenance star?!

A VitaMix Blender, Kale and Flax Seed smoothies!  

HA!  Too funny!  I had to actually laugh out loud!

See what I mean?!  Everywhere you look... inspiration and validation!

You're on the right path! ;)  

OK, funk over!

Thanks to my friend Kristin for promptly calling me after this post to make a 'wogging' (walk/jogging) date for tomorrow evening!  Good look'n out friend, thanks for keeping me moving! 

If You Deserve Commitment From Anyone, It's Yourself!

It's a scary thing to realize we're all alone.  

We come into the world alone.  

We leave the world alone.  

We may or may not have family and friends, spouses and children along the way... but really, at the core... we know that the one and only consistent thing we can always count on in this world... is that we will always have ourself!  

Hopefully, you are at peace and love with yourself, regardless of your image... because you'll be spending a lot of time together!  

It's true.  If we deserve commitment from anyone... it is ourself.

And yet time and time again, we put our own needs on the back burner.  

We tell ourselves we aren't important.  

We can wait.  

We search so long and hard for others to fill our voids and when they don't we feel neglected and angry... wondering why we feel so alone.  

Forgetting that it's our responsibility and ours alone.  

Now don't get me wrong, I believe the human exchange and mutual connection is vital to our experience here on earth... it's something we all need and search for!  But it should never trump our own relationship and our own experience with ourself and in my personal perspective, God.

The trouble starts when we start putting expectations on others that really shouldn't be there.  

We should never expect anyone else to give us more than they're able.  

Or to be someone they're not.  

Or to shut out the world to protect our fragile egos... never experiencing human connection with any other soul.  

Wouldn't life be simpler, richer even ... if we all took one giant step back to see that life isn't a race or a competition... but about the fulfillment of our soul, lessons learned... experiences gained.  

Wouldn't we all be happier if we stopped trying to please everyone else and gave ourselves permission to make ourselves happy for a change.  

Wouldn't those around us in turn, feel that release of pressure and responsibility that should have never been theirs in the first place.  

What if we could be honest with ourselves and each other about what does or does not work and why.  

What if we were enough.  All on our own!  

What if we were truly supportive, loving, kind and happy for one another... or truly sorry or empathetic when necessary... because we come from a place of wholeness and not lack!

It's not about being selfish.

It's about being responsible enough to be self-full!

And this is what this journey is about for me.  

Getting back in touch with me.  

Getting strong and brave and facing my life and truth head on!  

It's not a fad, or a phase... not a race to be run then I'm done.  

This is a lifestyle change!  

A resurrection of sorts.  

From the fearful and lifeless back to the living and brave.

I encourage you all to consider the same. 

If not now, when?

A Clean House Is A Sign Of No Internet Connection

My computers are working fine... it was our connection that wasn't so great.  Along with our digital voice telephones.  Comcast.  They suck, seriously!  They sent people out twice to fix the problem only the problem was never fixed and every time we'd call to report loss of connection they'd tell us to go unplug and reset our modem.  

They wanted me to live under my desk, I'm convinced of it!  

And they offered zero customer service... we'd been with them for 6 years at $200/month... and the best we could get was a 'sorry Mam, we can get someone there (for the 3rd time) in a few days."  

First off, don't call me Mam!  

Second, what in sweet carnation makes them think I have any faith they can get it right the 3rd time around and why should I give them the opportunity to try when At&t offers more for less $?!  

So, we switched.  It took the At&t tech all day to rewire the house in the basement and the attic and get it all up and working... but so far, I am much happier with the switch!

What became apparent to me while our service was down was how much time I spend on the computer, phone and internet!  And how much time my kids spend watching TV or playing video games, both were unavailable to them for the day so we had to get creative.  They painted, picked up a guitar and played... played the piano, read books and helped me clean and cook!  My house got cleaner then it's been in a long time... hmmmm.... I've never thought my 'addiction' to technology was that big or that strong but being with out it has made me realize how strong it actually is... and consuming!  I've felt out of the loop even if I've missed nothing!

We should probably lose our internet, TV and phone altogether and we might be smarter more well rounded people... living in a cleaner home!  Hmmmm.... maybe one thing at a time... for now I'll just focus on healthier eating and living. :)

I talked to my good (healthy living guru) friend Carey the other day and she reminded me that I could also use the VitaMix for Tzatziki dip and hummus!  Two of my favorites!  

And the plain, non fat greek yogurt makes a good, healthier substitute for sour cream as well... so I really should substitute it in more often.

Tzatziki dip is good with just about anything, but I like it best with carrots and celery... my kids liked it too!

To make it, mix well:

1 container of non fat plain greek yogurt

1 package of Feta

1 small onion

1/2 lemon squeezed

2 cloves of garlic 

then

1 cucumber cut and mixed in after

Dill and Oregano to taste

*Mine came out a little runnier then I would have liked... and I read (after, of course) that I should have strained the liquid out of the greek yogurt by putting it into a coffee filter and resting it on top a glass... next time.  The taste is still good though, thinking of incorporating it into a greek chicken dish.

I like to wash and cut my veggies so they're ready to eat.  FYI, celery is kept best wrapped in foil.  

I've had it last for weeks in a paper towel and foil.

Nummy!  :)

Speaking of Technology addictions... I've just caught this movie on one of my new movie channels called Saint Ralph ... It just sucked me in!  All about a kid whose Mom is in a comma and needs a miracle to wake up.  He prays and he trains to run (and win) the Boston Marathon "If you're not chasing miracles in life, what's the point" is my favorite take away so far... I haven't finished watching yet so I can't tell you how it ends even if I did want to spoil it for you... but I find it interesting... how even when we're not looking for it, inspiration finds us!  

Ever notice that?  How when you set your mind to something...  that something, seems to be everywhere you look! ;)

Taco Bell, huh? Jamba Juice, wha?

Today the weather was kinda 'egh' ... and since the walking pneumonia incident, I can't seem to run outside anymore if the temp falls below 50!  It rips my lungs a new one!  So although my foot still feels great (Yay Asics) and I feel pretty good... I opted for working out indoors.  Most of which I did on my back... focusing on the abs!  Some light cardio... kind of a recovery day.

My son asked for Taco Bell after school and I was almost about to do it... but instead, went to the store where we picked up some whole wheat, high fiber... low carb tortillas.  Light sour cream, low fat cheese, tomato, lettuce, ground Chicken and get this... refried BLACK beans!
Did you even know there was such a thing!?  Me either!  Yup, organic refried black beans!  I LOVE refried beans and was wishing yesterday that I could have some in my burrito so imagine my excitement when I found this healthier option!
There was a happy dance on aisle 7!  :)
The burritos were delicious and not even the kids could tell the difference!
I cringe to think about all these years that I've been doing full fat sour cream and cheese, brown beans, white bread and white flour tortillas.  Sure they taste great... but so do the healthier alternatives!
Either way, home made is always better than fast food!  So much sodium and MSG... and what the heck is in that meat anyway?!

My middle son came home complaining of a soar throat!  :/  The weather has been kinda bipolar lately... colds happen!  So I immediately turned to my VitaMix.  Ice, two whole oranges freshly squeezed, one packet of EmergenC with 1000 mg of Vitamin C (tangerine flavor, yum!), 1 banana, a handful of black berries, a tbsp. of flax seed, and a good squeeze of honey....

It was num-e!

Taco Bell and Jamba Juice used to be two of my favorite places... but now.... who needs 'em!?  ;)