Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Hello, My Name is:

HI!  I'm Mel!  :)  A 32 year old Wife and Stay at Home Mom to 3 adorable children currently residing in the suburbs of Chicago.   I love being a Mom and I love my kids, but holy Moses did I ever underestimate the degree of difficulty of such an adventure!
I love kids and the only thing I have always wanted to be my whole life is a Mother!  That's why I wonder, on those really bad days... what those Mother's that never really wanted to have children must be feeling... those days where even I question "what in the heck was I thinking?" or "What might I be accomplishing if all of my time and energy weren't spent on cleaning, cooking, wiping butts and noses, laundry, dishes, bills and grocery shopping?"  Needless to say, there have been plenty of times where I have felt that the American Dream is nothing short of a Nightmare... especially in light of our economic state!
Course a lot of the reason I've felt this way is due to a complete imbalance!
Imbalance of hormones, imbalance of energy, imbalance of time, responsibilities etc...  I had 3 kids in 4 years back to back and nursed each one through my pregnancies for a year and half each!  It leaves you drained!  I have had no time to myself to take care of myself or just be.  So I am finally making that time to do so now!

There is no doubt that while my kids are most certainly worth any and all pain and strain, getting them here came with a heavy price tag... on my mental, physical and emotional health.
I had really bad postpartum depression with my last 2 pregnancies.  Along with a cancer scare, (benign) tumor in my thyroid, gum disease, high glucose levels, 50 pounds of extra weight gain and thinning graying hair!  My youngest is now 2 and a half and as my 6 year old put it "Mom, you still look the same as when I came out of your belly."  Out of the mouth of babes!  He's right, I do!  That's not a good thing by the way.   I never lost the baby weight from my first pregnancy, I just got pregnant again, and again!

Well, it's time to finally shed this baby weight once and for all!  It's time to lower my cholesterol because it's dangerously high.  It's time to eat the right things and do the right things... and so I've signed myself up for a 10 mile race, the Waterfall Glen, Extreme 10 to be exact.  A rigorous course all off road trails!  Ambitious for only 18 weeks to prepare... I know!  Honestly, I'm terrified!
But I knew if I didn't sign up and create a deadline (or invest financially), I probably wouldn't stick to it and get it done!  I also knew that my husband would take me and my time to run and train more seriously if there were an event coming up!  I'm intimidated but committed!  My goal is just to finish and survive the race!

I was a distance runner all through middle school and high school, a little in my college years.  I had just begun training to run the Los Angeles Marathon with my aunt Helen, when I rolled my car and broke my back in 3 places.  I was 19 at the time.  I wasn't super fast.  I'm rather short, muscular and stalky... not the typical runners build at all... but I just always loved running.  Not to compete against anyone but myself... just do it for the love of it!  I miss it!  I don't even know if I'm still capable... but I'm finally ready to find out!

My main motivation, besides losing weight, getting healthier and finding out if I still have it in me... is to show my children that I can do more than just feed them or clean up after them, or be there Mom!  I can be something else.  I can chase dreams and goals and accomplish things outside of our immediate bubble... because if I don't show myself that, how can I teach them that!?  I imagine their little faces, waiting for me at the finish line... with admiration and pride!  Hey, a girl can dream right?!  Even if the whole event is dismantled and everyone has gone home when I come crawling across that finish line, I'll be proud of myself and I hope my kids will be too!

So the blog.  Yes, I decided to create it for 4 reasons.
1.)  I feel it's a great way to monitor my progress... be it stats or pictures, food journaling.  I'm also interested in tracking my emotional growth.   How my moods and perspectives change, etc... I think it will be interesting for reflection purposes and help to share my progress with friends and family.  I think it will help to keep me motivated if I can see and track my growth!
2.)  I'm hoping that if I have a place to track my progress, publicly it will serve to hold me accountable and I'd be less likely to slack off!?
3.)  I'm hoping that when I'm in a lull or down and out... that someone reading this might be able to offer some encouragement to help me obtain my goals!
4.)  I hope to inspire you!  Whoever you are, taking the time to read my rants... I hope to inspire you to challenge yourself and to conquer your fears!

So there's my introduction and mission statement!  I hope you'll join me on my way to 15K!  It should be an interesting ride!

Happy Trails,
~Mel